Neil has a very creative/vivid dream life (thank you morphine and lorazapan). He lately he has been having a series of on going dreams and hallucinations about heaven.
The other night he dreamt he visited heaven on a one day pass. There are 3 parts to this dream. Part I, Yiddish Land; Part 2, Me, Me Me; Part 3, The Reality Show.
When Neil arrived in heaven there was no one to greet him and no fanfare; he wandered around until he noticed that there were signs for different ethnic areas. He naturally headed for Yiddish Land, which was huge. As in the other ethnic areas, there was plenty of hot fresh food arranged on a table the size of a football field. He spotted giant bowls of chicken fat along side platters of fresh breads challah, pumpernickle and rye. Next to that was the gribenas (fried chicken fat). Of course there were other healthy delicacies such as kishkas, pickled tongue, chopped liver etc. He noticed with interest that there was no buying, selling or money involved . After helping himself to a few snacks, he saw a building in the distance that looked interesting and was marked with the letters MMM. The only people comingin and out seemed to be much better dressed than the rest of the crowd. He hopped on a segway, although there were many modes of transport.. golf carts, old trolley cars, all availabe at no cost. He arrived at the MMM building having no idea what to expect, but his curiosity was aroused. It turned out to be some sort of a formal social/country club facility, with well dresseed people sitting around smoking cigars and drinking fancy beverages; he took a seat in the corner, observed and listened.
His excitement was quickly dimished after thinking that heaven might not be so bad. Although money was not used in heaven and purchases could not be made, the MMM club was the place to go to brag about former possessions. Many former materalists and braggarts were represented. Here are some of the conversations Neil heard as he wandered around the huge building:
"Me, I had a house with 6 bedrooms and 6 baths and two Cadillacs all at the same time.Me, I had all my suits custom made in Hong Kong as I traveled the world. Me I had three homes, a summer home, a winter palace and a ski chalet." Others were vying with each other to determind whose kids went to the most expensive colleges.
Disappointed, he left the building hearing more " me, me, me's" talking about their possessions. He decided this place was not for him and left. He hopped on an available golf cart. He saw another building where he thougth he discerned laughter. He hopped off the golf card and knocked on the door, overwhelmmed by the odor of cigar smoke that came wafting through the building. This building had a sign on the door that said "The Reality Show".
Neil knocked on the door and an eldery, bearded rabbi opened it; Neil asked what was going on..and the rabbi replied, "Come on in boychick and see for yourself,but you look too young; most of our members are over 80 and all former clergy of one religion or another. This is a place where former rabbi's and religious scholars meet. We are tired of discussing the holy books so we use this place for entertainment."
Along the wall s I noticed large, flat screen TV's and people with 3D glasses and binoculars. The learned men explained between laughter that they were peeking in at the lives of people around the world as they went about their daily affairs.. "Notice how many of them scurry about seeking meaning and trying to figure out what life is all about and worring about the meaning of life and death", he candidly told Neil with a rye twinkle in his eye. Neil responded that he thought his was a mean spirited thing to be doing. The holy men laughed.
"You do not understand", replied the holy man; "People are going around looking outside themselves for meaning that they can never find. They do not know that th only true meaing lies within themselves. True meaning may even be different for each person; it is not something someone else can find for you, although (they chuckeld) , we did make a good living trying to help them find it."
Hardly able to breathe because of the cigar smoke, Neil rushed to the door, hopped on his segway and headed for the exit. The more he thought about what he had heard from the learned men, the more he was determined not to go back for a second visit.
On the other hand between the food, Yiddish Land and the Reality Show maybe heaven would not be so bad after all.
