May 18

Health wise it gets a bit worse each day. Neil can do less and less. He hates being so dependent, who wouldn't?  His  voice is getting weaker and he is having a harder time getting himself out of bed. 

Joel  is here and that is a big help, but  I know it is hard for him to see us this way.
I dread the saying of goodbyes. It is heart wrenching.

Neil's friend Ron is also here for 10 days. He is very tender and kind. He is Neil's guy friend, but also my guy friend. His daughter Nora will be here on Saturday and we also look forward to seeing her smiling face.

Neil says he is sitting shiva for himself. People drop in or  email lovely eulogies.
It is shiva and we have been in morning for almost a year now.  He sometimes compares it to the old show "This Is Your Life". 

I think of Tinkerbell who said something like "Help! My light is fading."
Neil's  light is fading and I cannot help, only keep him comfortable and watch.

Wish I had good and happy things to write.. The good things are the wonderful guests who  come to visit and share their energy, love and time.   These are the gifts we gratefully receive.


Cheryl