Metamorphsis

Kafka woke up one am  transformed into an insect.
Neil wakes up each morning  also transformed ... Each morning he finds
 peices of himself missing, both mentally and physically... nite brings changes; changes we do not want.
Yesterday, he could brush his teeth himself, today he cannot. Yesterday he could balance
the check book, today he cannot . He has a infection in his cathether; Friday he will start
anti biotics; the anti biotics, the nurse tells us may cause mental confusion.

 Happy Days, (Beckett),  one of neil's favorite plays is about a couple who awake buried in sand up to their ankles. Each day the sand gets higher,but the happy couple say 'Oh well our ankles may be buried, but at least we can still see our knees."As  the knees become buried, they say "Oh well at least we can use our arms". Get the pix?
Happy Days is a metaphor for growing older and we are a metaphor for Happy Days.
We are living Happy Days in real time. 
A weak heart and an advancing ALS plays havoc with the body and the mind of both the patient and the caregiver. Neil is  smart and aware enough to know it is happening. He asks to be released from his body, which now imprisons him.
We have two rabbi's at our Sarasota temple, who are both amazing. Goldie Milgram is our winter  rabbi living in Philly and traveling, but calls often. She called him yesterday and spoke to him for an hour.  He loves  talking to her. They talk and she sings to him.
She counsels him and soothes him.
Reb Jennifer Singer our summer rabbi  is one special person.. She is smart, funny, and full of love and great energy.  She visited us at the hospice house and has offered to come to our home for visit. Thank you Reb Goldie and Reb Jennifer for your love, wisdom and compassion. You are part of our angel team, as our our kids, grandkids, and freinds.
Our temple family are also part of our angel team. They bake  offer to visit, bring food and lend an ear when needed.  We are blessed to be members of this scared community.

Delores, our aide takes cares of both of us.. she bathes and dresses neil and is his therapist.
She cleans, cooks, shops, does errands and answers the phone when we are too tired to talk. She knows when I need a nap and encourages me to lie down.

She has just taken him out for breakfast, so i cd get cuaght up with things.

My heart goes out to people everywhere who are dealing with this and other aillments.
My heart goes out to caretakers who watch their loved ones metamorphize/melt away.
My heart goes out to us and to our freinds who love us and watch this process with us.
I wish it were easier for everyone who must deal with illness.
Cheryl