We are living in a strange kind of limbo.... a place between life and death. In the past week we both noticed a significant slowing down... no appettite, more breathing problems, more time spent sleeping, less energy.
The only thing that remains the same is Neil's amazing spirit. He tells me that he feels lucky. Lucky to have lived the life he has lived. Lucky to have had the friends he has had. Lucky to have had the parents/grandparents and children and grandchildren he has. He looks at the world with his glass
half full, rathe than half empty. I am not sure how many people who have been in bed for 2 months would say they were lucky.
He tells me that he is getting chest pains, and says it is because it is bursting with the love he has received. The love can no longer be contained. We both know and are grateful for this love.
Until you are sick, it is hard to imagine the gift of a visit or a smile from a friend. We have been blessed by that, for sure. Thank you everyone.
At Neil's insistence we sold our wheelchair van today and bought a new car. He wanted to do this for me, so that he could "oversee" it . It was his wish that i have one less thing to deal with "afterwards".
Joel neogitiated the deal when he was here, and the car was delivered today. A bittersweet purchase. The van served us well and allowed Neil the freedom to get out. Another chapter of our life that is no more.
One of the many things that amazes me about Neil is that while sick, he continues to worry about me and about others. I did not realize when I married him that I was marrying someone who loves me more than he loves himself. I see that cleary now. So I am the lucky one.
For several months now, Neil has been lamenting the fact that so many children are stricken with disease. Neil thought about what he could do to bring sick children some laughter and cheer. He wanted to find a way to brighten their days and comfort them as he has been comforted.
If you know Neil, then you also know the role humor has played in his life.. He generates and enjoys a good joke or a funny story. Laughter he tells me is the most potent medicine he takes. To that end he came up with the idea of bringing laughter and fun to hopsice children who face a variety of life threatening illnesses.
This week The Rudin Family Giggle Fund became a reality in conjunction with hospice. The intention of the fund, which will support children enrolled in the Essential Care Program of hospice will be to brighten the days of pediatric patients by covering the costs of celebratory events, entertainment and such activities that will bring joy to sick/economically needy children and their families. Hospice currently serves 25 families enrolled in this program, but there are 50 families on the waiting list to be helped. It is his hope that we will be able to help expand the fund to include them.
Should you wish to support this fund the address is:
Hospice Foundation of WNY (Rudin Family Giggle Fund)
225 Como Park Blvd, Cheektowaga, NY 14227.
Neil is excited about being here to see this happen. It is important to him to
leave a footprint of kindness on the universe.
Cheryl
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